The Wedding is For the Bride So Should She Pay for Her ‘Portion’? July 27, 2006
Weddings are great, but we all know that the bride is the focus of the weddings. If that’s true, what are bride’s costs vs the groom’s costs? I was reading the NY Times article about rising costs of weddings, and some additional costs in some weddings now add up to a lot. The one example that was given was that one bride wanted to release butterflies at the reception ($10,000 cost), but unfortunately, when released, they flew into a light installation that burned them and hundreds of them fell on the dance floor. It would’ve been a pretty sight in theory, but would you spend $10k on butterflies for your wedding? According to the NY Times, the average American wedding now costs $27,852, almost double the $15,208 spent in 1990, according to a study by the Condé Nast Bridal Group.
I’ve been happily married for three years. For our wedding, we spent $26,421, just under the average wedding today. I revisited our spreadsheet and my wife broke out the wedding costs between his, hers, ours. Here’s the breakdown:
- Hers: $13,943 (53%)
- His: $4,311 (16%)
- Ours: $8,167 (31%)
- Total: $26,421
I didn’t even notice that there was a breakdown, but it made me think about this. We both split the costs, so it didn’t even occur to me. When couples get married, everything is a joint cost, but there’s so much more to get for the bride:
- dress
- alterations
- underpinnings
- dress cleaning
- veil
- jewelry
- shoes
- hair and makeup
- flip flops (I’m told she needs this for walking around)
- bridesmade’s skirts
- bridesmade’s tops
- bridesmade’s shoes
- mother’s dress
For the groom:
- Tuxedo or black suit
Everything else you either own already or can borrow from someone (cufflinks, etc), and tell your groomsmen to wear their own black suit. Our joint expenses included the music, photographer, rehearsal dinner, invitations, marriage license, venue. So to answer my own question up above, to be fair, the wedding costs should be split equally, unless the parents want to impress their closest 200 friends (which didn’t happen for our wedding, thank god!). But brides need to think about so much more to look good for the groom. But if she’s looking good for the groom, shouldn’t the groom pay for it all? Now I’m talking in circles, but you get the idea.
Source:
To Avert a Fractured Fairy Tale, a Wedding Planner, NY Times, Published: July 23, 2006
- Posted in : Money and Relationship
- Author : Kyle
Comments»
Ugh. I think the fatal flaw in Madame Butterfly’s plan was not the light fixture, but when she thought it would be cool to trap her guests at a formal affair in a room with hundreds of insects flying around.
Weddings seem like a real waste to me, especially considering the 50% divorce rate. Why not take the $25,000 and build a lasting relationship in a home of your own? Seems like a much better investment to me. And hey, you’ll get half of it back when you split up.
I’m gay so luckily I won’t have this problem with getting married. lol
But honestly, why do all these people have these lavish weddings?
[…] Beyond the Network, Make Love, Not Debt warns not to void your mattress warranty and it’s Just Money shows that house flippers are in trouble. Next Income bracket wonders if brides should pay for their portions of weddings and Frank the Financially Savvy Atheist explains what he will do with his $6,000 windfall. […]
[…] I also took dance lessons with my fiancee before getting married so we look like we know what we’re doing. It was another wedding expense that I hadn’t anticipated, but it was well worth it. We had a friend who knew an incredible dance teacher who has been in those Gap clothing commercials a few years ago and in movies such as “Mona Lisa Smile” with Julia Roberts. He gave us the friends rate at $70 an hour. We had 6 lessons which was perfect for our first dance preparation. It was one more thing I didn’t have to worry about on the day of our wedding. It was well worth it in our minds. But then again, maybe that’s the way the super rich, like Mimi Wong thinks when she agrees to a $15.4million dance lesson. […]
[…] The Wedding is For the Bride So Should She Pay for Her ?Portion? Weddings are great, but we all know that the bride is the focus of the weddings. If that’s true, what are bride’s costs vs the groom’s costs? I was reading the NY Times article about rising costs of weddings, and some additional costs in some weddings now add up to a lot. [.] (more) […]
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